Over the last few years, as many of you will have noticed, I’ve been a bit of an Apple fanboy (some people spell this fanboi – I have no idea why but seemingly it makes it a much wittier insult). I bought a Macbook, then an iPhone and as time progressed I got more hooked, until I’d imperceptibly gained that air of smug superiority and self-delusion that seems to go with the territory.

I’ve written a lot about Apple on this blog, and even written for Just Another iPhone Blog about the technological wonders that Steve Jobs and co have brought into the world.

But recently I’ve started to have doubts. Have I been hooked into some kind of faux-religious fervour that’s making me blind to the faults of apple products and willing to spend disproportionate amounts on their shiny and pretty but insubstantial wares (as Charlie Brooker suggests in this rather superb article)?

“I wouldn’t expect you to understand”

It all came to a head when I was discussing the new iPhone with a friend just before it came out. She suggested that it was overhyped and that there was always some kind of fault being reported in the press with previous iPhones. I could have patiently explained, in the patronising manner which is part and parcel of being a fanboi that certain aspects of the tech press were “out to get” Apple because of their huge success and in fact Steve Jobs’ every move is divinely ordained.

Instead however, I petulantly retorted “I wouldn’t expect you to understand”. She was, understandably a little offended by this, and I realised I was being overly defensive. I had lost all objectivity on the topic. And she was proven right when despite early reviews of the iPhone 4 suggesting it was the most advanced smartphone ever, antennagate hit.

(In case you don’t know, customers were reporting that the new iPhone’s antenna, which is actually part of the phone’s structure, had a weak spot at the bottom left hand corner of the phone, and if held there, in the normal way anyone would hold a phone (using what has become known as the death grip) it would drop calls!)

Touch Me

I still think Apple’s achievement with the iPhone, iPod Touch and iPad are extremely impressive – bringing touchscreens into the mainstream and most definitely changing the face of computing whether the Haters (or should I spell it Hatas) like it or not. Of course their success is partly due to the groundbreaking functionality of the technology, partly due to the slick design, and partly due to their extremely clever marketing which makes you feel like one of the wealthy and supercool elite if you own their product, and like an unwashed peasant if you don’t.

However where they fall down is in their treatment of their so-called fans. They seem to believe that once you’re hooked into their never-ending sales funnel, you lose all perspective, all decision-making ability and all objectivity and are willing to keep shelling out no matter how badly you’re treated.

Now clearly on one level antenna-gate was blown out of all proportion; however as other commentators have noted, this was mainly because of the dismissive treatment of the early complaints by Apple, not least Steve Jobs himself, who personally replied to one complaint “just hold it differently”.

Eventually of course they had to call an emergency press conference and give cases away for free, which went some way to calm the storm, but what the whole episode showed was their arrogance in dealing with valid customer complaints. And the sacking of Mark Papermaster, Apple’s senior executive overseeing engineering of the iPhone and iPad, proves that something had indeed gone badly wrong internally.

Now things are even worse for the poor users of the iPhone 3G, which simply doesn’t work properly once updated to the latest 4.0 operating system. Apple have apparently, several weeks later, said they are “investigating” the matter, but this just isn’t good enough. It’s not an extravagant claim to suggest they are deliberatingly phasing out the 3G in order to force customers to buy the next model, even though many do not have a spare £400 sitting around with which to do so (and if you get it on contract expect to pay £800 over the course of 18 months).

Ok, so the new iPhone is twice as powerful as the 3G and so the old model can’t be expected to do everything as well as the new one – but my 3G had been working just fine up until the update – and it doesn’t even allowed multi-tasking on 3Gs, which proves they can easily adjust how the update affects different models, so there’s no reason why it should make it run so slow.

Screw You!

I was actually ready to purchase the iPhone 4 when my contract ran out at the end of July but I do not like the feeling that I’m being forced into it. And because my iPhone has a crack on the back that I only noticed after the warranty had run out, I can’t even get a decent amount to recycle the bugger. Plus, although I don’t believe the faulty antenna would be a big issue for me, it is likely to adversely affect the resale price and given the problem I have with the cracked 3G I am going to have to be more careful about these sorts of things.

So sorry Steve, but I’m waiting it out for now. And as for the iPad, well screw you. I do want an e-reader, but I’ll be looking at the new Amazon Kindle, which is a fraction of the price.

Not fans of Steve Jobbies

I first sang the praises of Spotify back in January, and now at last, the eagerly awaited iPhone app has arrived. Okay so it doesn’t work in the background, you have to be signed up to the premier which costs £10 a month.. it doesn’t have half the music you want to listen to. This is no replacement for iTunes or your much-treasured music collection, but even so this is a revolutionary app and though I can ill afford another monthly subscription on top of my emusic account (of which I am now tempted to cancel), I had to sign up at least for one month to try it out.

Now I have access to a vast, easily searchable library wherever I have a connection to wi-fi or 3G, and if I can’t get online, then I can access any of my playlists that I’ve already saved offline. Of course half the pleasure is listening to rubbish that you’d never buy in a million years, so here I present the ‘Cheese Please’ playlist for your delectation to celebrate this momentous er.. moment. (Warning: Not for those with an aversion to truly cheesy pop).

Cheese please (this link will only work if you are already signed up to Spotify – it’s currently unavailable in the US)

My t-shirt design (made from recycled materials(it gets recycled every year))

I’m currently on what is called ‘temp promotion’ for the month of August. What this consists of is a cleverly calculated, microscopic sum of money which, when tax is taken off, amounts to exactly dick-all – and a whole lot of headache inducing additional work involving excruciatingly anal ‘high-level strategic planning’ and shit-hits-the-fan staff management scenarios. 

On the plus side though, I’m not having to type so much each day that my hands feel like they’ve been run over by a truck, and for one month only I don’t have to get up until the leisurely time of 7am, giving me a lie-in of a whole hour and a half! This morning I even went for a swim before work such was my glee at being able to choose how to spend those early hours of the morning for myself.

Being so busy with work though does mean it looks like another Edinburgh Festival will on the whole be passing me by. Hangovers and the above workload are not good bedfellows so I will be spending the evenings being utterly sensible (well after the usual hour on Facebook and Twitter).

I will however, do my best to catch some of the excellent local music that’s happening during August. I’ve written a wee preview in this month’s Skinny, and thanks to the music editor Dave Kerr who helped out with some timely additions just before going to print. I think it’s a pretty comprehensive account of Edinburgh’s independent promoters and musicians valiant efforts to continue with their lives despite the “influx of tosspots” (as the Daily Mash would have it).

Also, I was chuffed to get a nice write up on the excellent Just Another iPhone Blog for my iPhone vid (see previous post).

So I haven’t just been sitting scratching my arse, honest..

An iPhone ponce, yesterdayFinally, by popular demand (well two people expressed a vague interest), I present my ultimate guide to Steve Jobs’ expensively addictive hand-extension for show-offs. This has been a long-time coming because to be honest it was turning into an incredibly dreary piece of slavering apple fanboi tedium, but I think the finished piece is a bit more entertaining than your typical self-indulgent tech-wankathon. At least I hope so.

Obviously if you are one of the strange breed who turns into a growling, foaming-mouthed tornado of rage at even the mention of Apple products, then this post isn’t for you, and I suggest getting back to your latest 3-hour virus scan (joke!)

The apps I include are some of the ones you might not have heard of, as opposed to the more obvious ones I use every day like Tweetie, Facebook, Tumblr, and the stuff that comes with the phone itself like email, the native notes app and google maps/GPS (which has so far been utterly invaluable as a sat nav stand-in).

Also below I’ve included a wee list of other resources for finding out about more apps if you are so inclined. Let me know what apps you use if you have one of the shiny time-wasting futurephones, and if you have any sources for finding out about the good uns, please leave a comment.

Watch the whole 12 minute video via Vimeo:

Or if you’re on an iPhone or have a short-attention span, watch it in two exciting installments via YouTube:

Part one 

Part deux

Other useful iPhone App links:

Daring Fireball No one outside of Apple’s Cupertino HQ knows more about what they’re up to than John Gruber. He frequently has the inside scoop on what will be announced at the likes of WWDC and often highlights interesting new apps.

Just Another iPhone Blog I’ve had some good recommendations from this blog, which is well worth subscribing to – it’s got more of the feel of a personal blog than something that’s just there to get lots of traffic.

App Advice’s App Awards Found this on the above blog, not saying I agree with the results but it’s a good place to start for an overview of the popular apps out there.

“Geek Rock Stars favourite Apps” ReadWriteWeb have this summary of what some of the top tech geeks use.

Planet of the Apps The Guardian had a decent piece in today’s G2 section about the “app economy”

TechCrunch on the Spotify app Spotify are waiting to see if Apple will approve their game-changing submission to the app store, and thus make their premium account worth paying for. But because it competes directly with iTunes, they may not.

And of course there are hundreds of other sites pumping out an endless barrage of iPhone related trivia – with augmented reality the new exciting trend for those fuckers with 3GS and its built in compass.  And on that note, I can only quote my better half from the video above when she says “enough about the iPhone already!”