At least that’s what Nude Magazine thought, who printed this brief version of my ‘I Was a Swivel Chair’ story:

Name: Swivel Chair. Town: Edinburgh, Scotland. Years: 1999-2004

Influences: KLF, Pet Shop Boys, Joy Division. Career Highlight: Our third triumphantly drunken gig.. Lowpoint: Our fourth disastrously drunken gig. Line Up: Craig Low (bass, samples) Milo McLaughlin (vocals, guitar) David Robertson (99-2002): madness, Dave Burnett (2002-2004)- lead guitar, production

I met Craig working in a miserable till-monkey job at HMV on Edinburgh’s Princes St.  He had already started recording Swivel Chair as a joke, using the recording software Acid, and he handed me a CD on which he had used a recording of the store manager giving him a bollocksing over a Led Zeppelin sample.

I was impressed and when he suggested I come up with some lyrics/ideas for a Swivel Chair track, I jumped at the chance and our first collaboration, The Man Who Listened to Planes was recorded, wholly based on the A-Team theme.

A few more sample based comedy recordings (with original vocals) and a friend agreed to sell our CD in Fopp Records- to our surprise we sold quite a few. We were even more surprised when our second EP got us some brief record company interest. However we were stumped when they asked when we were playing live as neither of us could play an instrument.

Our egos inflated, we decided to stop using samples and learn instruments. Third member David Robertson, who lived in Dundee, was also cruelly ejected from the band as egos ran riot, and a new member, Burnett was reluctantly recruited. The only one who could play his instrument, there was a lot of pressure on Burnett as we started rehearsals.

Finally we played our first gig using a computer to provide backing tracks. It was an entertaining spectacle and a few drunken girls danced, but we were barely competent and doubt set in for Craig and Burnett. There was a significant break in which they both refused to play live and we half-heartedly agreed to split up before we were approached by a band called Quantum Ho Ho. Unbeknownst to us they had bought our CDs and it had inspired them to start their own band.

We reluctantly reformed and played three more gigs in support of them. One was mediocre, the second was a triumph, despite full drunken arrogance and a stand in guitarist who we’d only had one rehearsal with; the night before. We were high as kites as XFM Scotland (then Beat 106) DJ Jim Gellatly proclaimed our set “Fuckin’ Mental”. Unfortunately underlying tensions and alcohol led to a bust up after the gig in which punches were thrown but no-one except pride was hurt.

A week later and the final gig was an utter disaster due to lack of a soundcheck and this time being the wrong side of wasted. I threw a tantrum at the soundman. The others laughed at me. Our bonds were broken. Craig and I are still in contact now and again and have joked that we would reform if 1000 people demanded it. So far 8 people have expressed a vague interest.

Read the first 4 parts of the full tale below (originally published on the first Gaseous Brain blog in 2005 but extra video and mp3s have now been added)

• I Was a Swivel Chair – Part 1
• I Was a Swivel Chair (Part Two)
• I Was a Swivel Chair (Part 3)- Witness No.1
• I Was A Swivel Chair (part 4)

Seeing as I’ve not had a chance to properly research a ‘Gaseous Brainstorm’ post this week, and am off to Aberdeen for a stag weekend tomorrow morning (weather and liver permitting) I thought I’d delve back into the archives.

Those of you who’ve been reading a while and have particularly good memories might remember I started this series about my (mostly ill-fated) creative efforts but never got round to finishing it.

So far I’ve covered up to around 1999, so there’s a decade still to cover. I couldn’t quite keep it as brief as I’d hoped though, and I’d already written a lengthy series that covered around 1999 to 2004 called ‘I Was a Swivel Chair’ which covers a fair few misspent years in shit jobs, behaving like an utter twat and trying to get a comedy band off the ground (and failing spectacularly). Given that it doesn’t particularly paint me in the best light I was reluctant to revisit it. However I’ve decided to put it up here for a short time so anyone who cares can have a read before it is deleted from the internet forever!

Anyway here’s what’s come so far, and what is still to come, as a reminder or for anyone who wasn’t around at the time.

Next: I Was a Swivel Chair

Michael Caine: photographer unknown

Print newspapers, it seems, will soon be no more than a minority medium, and so owners of the big news brands are wondering just how they’re going to make money once their main outlet is via the internet – whether it’s accessed via a computer, a mobile device or one of the fancy new touchscreen thingys such as the Skiff or Apple’s new tablet which is expected to be announced next Wednesday (27 January).

Skiff Reader

 Clearly most of the big name news organisations will survive in some form or other, and will either monetize their websites through advertising (which clearly is a difficult business model to sustain) or, like the New York Times have decided, and Rupert Murdoch’s News International are reportedly planning, will charge a subscription fee for their content.

In the UK Murdoch’s plans will also be difficult to sustain whilst the BBC make so much news content available for free online, but he may well persuade David Cameron to do something about that once the Tories get into power (probably).

 Take Your iTablets

 Although some sectors of the publishing industry are hoping that Apple’s new device and others like it will give them a new multimedia platform which will enable them to charge a subscription for their content, it will need to be something special and not just a bigger shinier version of the current iPhone if it is to offer something extra than the current apps such as available from the Guardian, New York Times and Time Magazine.

Apple Tablet mock up

The Guardian’s iPhone App

 The one UK newspaper I read regularly is the Guardian (despite its shameful lack of Scottish news, but then I am heavily involved with Scottish news all day at work). I mainly read the sections that interest me, such as its excellent coverage of culture, media and technology, which in my opinion is only rivalled here in the UK by the BBC.  And  I read it entirely online, either by RSS or on their impressive new iPhone app.

 The app costs a couple of quid, but then you have access to the latest and most popular content from the Guardian, and the ability to save certain sections and content as favourites which you can then access offline.

 There are some limitations – the share function is currently limited to Facebook and email as opposed to the app from the New York Times which has multiple sharing options including Twitter, and there is currently no way to access comments or make a new comment. However these could hopefully be added as time goes on.

Guardian iPhone app promo video (with annoying voice-over)

 What Was That About Print Media Being Dead?

 It is in this climate that I’ve perhaps foolishly decided to put together a pilot issue of a Products of a Gaseous Brain fanzine, something I have been meaning to do for a long time. It will be available both as a downloadable pdf and a print version – watch this space for more details!

 Related Reading:

This article by Jonathan Fields is an interesting take on the latest developments, and continues the ongoing debate around ‘Free’ which Chris Anderson’s book recently sparked off. Whether you’re talking about newspapers, music, or any kind of creative endeavour, it’s a fascinating debate because no one really knows how things will develop yet.

Former Manchester Evening Times writer Ian Wylie, who was made redundant in October last year, has written a very thorough report from a recent conference called ‘New Ways To Make Journalism Pay’. It’s lengthy, but well worth a read if you have any interest in this topic. 

 However Martin Cloake argues over at The Media Blog that what we should be concentrating on is message rather than medium. 

 For a pretty comprehensive run down of news mobile apps see the Online Journalism Blog

And finally, a good overview of what’s likely from Apple’s new tablet from the Guardian (no, I’m not an employee, unfortunately!)

Whew! Quite an eventful year. I’m not going to try and provide an exhaustive summary of world events here, instead I thought it would be a good opportunity to give a brief rundown of my favourite posts of 2009 on this blog, whilst also including those events that were most important to me personally.

Whilst this is still a tiny blog in the larger scheme of things, it’s been exciting to gain readers each month and to have more people commenting, and I really appreciate every single person who subscribes or visits regularly, and who has emailed or commented or took part in my daft poll earlier on in the year – every single bit of feedback is appreciated. 

Also an apology to those whose gigs I didn’t make it to, or whose emails I haven’t yet replied to. I’m still finding it difficult to juggle a busy day job with this blogging lark, and deal with all my own bad habits, procrastination, laziness/bouts of depression/agorophobia and general disorganisation. I’m working on it, promise!

So Happy New Year folks, and I hope it’s the best yet.

I Hear a New World

Though the column and podcast went on an extended hiatus this year, I still managed to squeeze in an interview with Will Oldham aka Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy, as well as with Sean Michaels of the ever-popular mp3 blog Said The Gramophone, and a couple of friends who contribute massively to the local music scene, Matthew from Song By Toad and Dave Kerr from The Skinny.

The podcasts also featured a bunch of great tunes from the likes of Grizzly Bear, Jeffrey Lewis, Camera Obscura, the Japanese War Effort, Ish Marquez and many more. You can still hear them all over on the podcasts page.

And don’t forget the  I Hear a New World Ten Tracks bundle is also available now for only £1!

 Travel/Personal

I fulfilled a lifetime ambition and went to New York where I played at the infamous Sidewalk Cafe antifolk open mic and also shocked myself and my long-suffering girlfriend by finally getting engaged: New York Travelogue

Technology

I bought an iPhone, and became a tiresome bore about it and my other favourite invention of the year, the new music streaming service Spotify:

The Gaseous Brain Guide to the iPhone (which was also featured on Just Another iPhone Blog’s best iPhone laughs of 2009)

Why I’m a Paytard

Why you need Spotify’s free music streaming service

Spotify for iPhone is here – bring on the cheese!

Gigs

I went to my first ever Fence Homegame festival, which was absolutely brilliant, and made a video about it: Fence Homegame 6 – Video Diary (some very selective personal highlights)

A few other gigs I enjoyed:

Found, Meursault & Panda Su @ Roxy Art House, Friday 4th December

The Cave Singers & Espers @ The Electric Circus, Edinburgh Nov 14th 2009

Jeffrey Lewis & The Junkyard @ Cabaret Voltaire, 31 Aug

Retreat! @ Bristo Hall, 16 Aug

Playing with the Past

A Weekend in Fife, featuring The Three Craws

Peaches @ Webster Hall, NYC

My friend Stu also contributed a couple of excellent gig reviews:

The Flaming Lips @ The Glasgow Academy, 15th November 2009

Review of Frightened Rabbit live in Edinburgh, 18th August 2009

Record reviews

As a recovering ex-music journalist just the thought of writing reviews and having to give them a star rating brings me out in a cold sweat, so this year saw a drop in my output when it comes to writing reviews.  But there were a few releases this year which had me relapsing due to their sheer quality: 

 King Creosote – Flick The V’s

Daniel Johnston – Is and Always Was

James Yorkston & The Big Eyes Family Players – Folk Songs

The Japanese War Effort – King of Poland

Withered Hand – You’re Not Alone

Meursault – Nothing Broke EP

Sleep The Winter – eagleowl

Found Can Move

Edinburgh band Found deserve their own category this year simply for having made the most danceable song of the year with Let Fidelity Break:

Video: Edinburgh band ‘Found’ provoke outbreak of crazy dancing

Found Play Let Fidelity Break to the Kids in Central Park

as well as wowing us all with their Cybraphon creation: Robot Love in Edinburgh – Cybraphon & ASIMO

Scrobbling Off:

I probably listened to cheesy pop music this year more than obscure indie (again, you can blame Spotify). Here’s where I ‘came out’:

Scrobbling Off: Where’s Your Favourite Place to Find Party Mixtapes?

The obligatory Wacko Jacko post-mortem blog post

Scottish Blogs

Finally, this year really did see an explosion in the number of Scottish music blogs and other music sites. It’s led to a great sense of community, culminating in the BAMS awards at the end of the year. I see this blog as a companion to all the others out there who also provide tons of great content, and recommend you check them out if you haven’t already.

Sexy New Scottish Blogs

I Hear a New World July 2009 – Recommended pod/vod/webcasts

Tis The Season of The Lists – Best Albums of 2009 and The Decade

The Internet & the Age of Information Overload

The same goes for the other blogs I’ve linked to on this site over the year which aren’t necessarily Scottish or about music.

I have to admit it, my internet addiction has shown no signs of abating in 2009. I started up a weekly web trawl of the best articles I found online, which then became the Random Reading List.

My attention was all over the place, including technology, music, eye candy (ahem) and just about everything else under the sun. If you’re looking for a whole library’s worth of interesting links, you can find them all here.

Phew! Here’s looking forward to 2010

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